I WILL NOT FORGET YOU
When you have a child that is mentally and physically challenged, you can rest assured that emotionally you will have some really bad days. I am sure that many parents who have a child with a disability will verify that. Having a sense of hope while maintaining a sense of reality can be a very hard balancing act, for sure.
As a Christian, my hope for Jeffrey’s progress and growth was in the Lord. I believed He had made me some very precious promises for this child and had literally seen the working of His hands on my child’s life. I was not ignorant of miracles.
I had my bad days but I would have to say that most of the time I was expecting God to move and was confident that what He promised me He would deliver. That is except for this one day where Satan really shot me down!
Jeff was about 13 at the time and still struggling in the mornings to get on his feet. His balance was really off this particular morning . It always took time for his eyes to level out. They would be so high that he would have to place his chin on his chest to look ahead. If that wasn’t bad enough, he was, for some reason, as pale as a sheet. So here he comes out of his room bouncing off the sides of the walls looking like the worst I had seen him in a long time.
All the faith I had for this child’s healing literally crashed to my feet. As I looked at him wobbling his way toward me I thought, “You are really kidding yourself, MaryAnn. He is never going to grow out of this, be healed, whatever. It is just never ever going to happen.” My heart, my spirit just sunk.
Jeff, by this time, had found his way up to me. He stopped, looked me square in the face and said, “I WILL NOT FORGET YOU.” I was stunned. You have to understand. Jeff’s speech was very immature for his age and he had a problem slurring his words. But this statement, which, by the way, was straight out of the Book of Isaiah!, was clear, strong and said with such an authority! I looked at him and asked, “What did you say, Jeff?” He repeated, “I said, I WILL NOT FORGET YOU!” I said, “Jeffrey, why did you say that to me?” He just shrugged his shoulders, turned to go down the stairs and said, “I don’t know, I just felt like I was supposed to say that to you.” And off he went!
I stood there completely baffled. The words he spoke caused my spirit to completely rebound. I knew that it was the Lord speaking directly to me through my son. And I remained standing there with such a sense of awe.
I thought… what an incredibly kind God I have, to not allow me to fall into the muck and mire of faithlessness and depression. It was just unbelievable.
Needless to say, I continued on with the rest of my day filled with an extra dose of faith and hope and gradually coming to understand that it was all right if I crashed and fell from time to time because underneath me were those everlasting arms…..and, no doubt about it… He would be there to catch me, dust me off and get me going again!!